I am fucked. Completely and totally fucked. Even I know that I’ve gone too far this time, and that’s saying something.
How fucking stupid am I? After tonight nothing will ever be the same. I guess you really should be careful what you wish for. Because I asked and received exactly what I wanted.
I think the worst part is this whole situation awoke a whole mess of feelings I didn’t even know were there. How can I face you tomorrow? How can I look you in the eyes and still think that things will stay the same? Because everything has changed. Whether I like it or not, things can never go back. We can never go back.
This is going to keep me up all night. Do I really have feelings for you? And do I really want to go through this whole rigmarole again? I haven’t decided; it’s too early to tell.
On the one hand, we get along so well, and you obviously like me. But we work together, and that almost never works out, a lesson I’ve learned the hard way much too often.
And there’s the cons: you have a boyfriend, you’re so young. We work together for Christ’ sake! And oh, did I mention how young you are? Sweet Jesus, I think I need the cradle robbing shirt.
So we’ll see what happens tomorrow. I hope I can look you in the eyes still. Because honestly, because of this one little thing my whole world has changed, shifted, been irreversibly altered.
And I am completely fucked because of it.
