Capt. H’s Weblog

Even though I don’t have to work today I still woke up at 7:30 and then 8:00. That’s really weird considering I didn’t set my alarm or anything. Man my body is fucked up.

My mom has a blog! Go HERE to see how awesome she thinks me and my sister are. Do you know why this is awesome? Because it means my mom is way cooler and more awesome than your mom. Fuck yeah!

I just realized that since I hate spelling definitely when I text, I usually just say ‘def’? How stupid is that.

PS: This guy totally sums up what most men are thinking.

So…on my way to work this morning I noticed at least 3 people who were out sweeping their driveways. No, that is not a typo. These people were seriously sweeping their driveways. What is wrong with people? Just get a shovel, seriously. I actually stopped and watched this one woman try and sweep the corner of her driveway for like, 5 minutes, and at the end of it she seriously stopped and looked like she was wondering why it had taken her so long to do that little patch that she had. I’ll tell you why: because you’re using a fucking broom. Go buy a shovel. They can’t be more than 50 bucks. Oh, and when she was done that woman gave me the weirdest look. I guess it is weird to watch a woman in her sweatpants sweep her driveway. But it just blew my mind.

Walking home from work yesterday, I happened to notice two kids on roller blades. Man, did I ever just want to shove them. Who roller blades anymore? Get a bike. Jesus. And it wasn’t even that they were roller blading, it was that they thought they looked so bad ass. One of them was doing spins, and weaving back and forth. You know when you see a snake and they weave their head back and forth as they look at you? This kid seriously did that all the way down the street. And as he rode by me I just looked at him, shook my head and mouthed “what the fuck?”. And his friend was no better. If you live in a neighborhood like mine, then you’ll know what I’m talking about here. All the houses in my area are basically the same house, with 4 different exteriors. All these carbon copy houses are crammed together with no front or back yards. You may wonder what this has to do with douchy kid on roller blades. I’m getting there.

Between all these houses on one side is about two and a half feet of grass. So this second kid was skating on peoples driveways and then jumping over these little patches of grass. I know it doesn’t sound bad, but this kid seriously thought he was in the X-Games or something, because he was trying to jump with as much flourish and noise as possible. I think I might’ve mouthed ‘douch’ at him.

Oh god, all of that isn’t even the worst part. These kids were delivering flyers on this street, but instead of, y’know, delivering them to the front door they were just throwing them in the general direction of the houses. I saw one of them throw a bundle at the end of someone’s driveway. It’s March in Alberta. There’s a lot of melting and rain going on. This is why I hate tweens. Actually, their failure to deliver flyers isn’t even the worst part. The worst thing was that the parents were driving beside them slowly passing them flyers. Are you fucking kidding me? Give them a fucking shoulder bag and send them on their way. There’s a reason that so many young people are overweight these days. I’m assuming that a leading cause of obesity is bad parenting. I could be wrong, but I’ve seen nothing to point to the contrary.

Oh, and tomorrow is lip piercing day with my friend. I’m very excited. I’ve heard a lot of conflicting opinions of how bad it’s going to hurt, but only one or two people have said that’s it’s going to be a horrible horrible pain. And I just found out that the ring itself (fuck studs) is actually attached to the needle so it’s that much quicker. Like I said, pictures when it’s finished.

Oh, and super cute girl at the bank was flirting with me today. Said she wanted to see my iPhone when I got it, and she also wanted to know if I’d unlock an iPhone if she got one. I told her yes. Speaking of…

Alright, so this idea has been bouncing around in my brain for a while, and I think it’s time that it saw the light. I’ve got mad skills at unlocking iPhones and iPod Touches. So if you don’t want to mess with it, I’ll do it for 20 bucks. I live in Calgary, so if you’re local that’s even easier. I can do it with any firmware, although if you’re on 1.1.2, you’re going to lose all your stuff. Also, if you’ve got a 16 or 32 GB iPod Touch you’re going to lose all your stuff. Sorry, but that’s just the way it is right now. Interested? E-mail me!

B

For someone who’s gone through as much shit as I have in the last year, I’d say things are turning out nicely. Good friends, good lifestyle, good job, just good everything. The only way life would get better is if a) I had no debt, and b) Pretty Girl would change her mind.

I’m feeling awesome. CAW!

Oh LAYN! That post two down (Past) is not about who you think it’s about, unless you were thinking it was about Pretty Girl. Then you’d be absolutely correct. (=

I’m watching the episode of One Tree Hill where they win the state championship, and even though I’ve seen it before I couldn’t help holding my breath when Lucas put up the final shot. Man this show is fucking amazing.

I Would Wait A Lifetime For You

Maybe it’s time to take a chance…

So man, One Tree Hill is out’ve this fucking world. I certainly could’ve done without the whole bitch fight episode, and why was there no game footage? But it looks like they’re going to more than make up for it next week. Let Dan out’ve prison? WTF? Srsly, kthxbai!

Oh, and PS: writers of One Tree Hill? WTF are you doing making Peyton and Lindsay friends? It’s obviously supposed to be Peyton and Lucas. GAWD! This story line eats out every night.
And enough fucking Kate Voegel already.